School Starts

Sept. 4, 2007

Day 1: It is hard to believe that school is underway....To start the year off, the 8th grade team gets to know the students by getting them involved in various team building activities. They "Move That Line", "Tie a Human Know", get in the "Lifeboat" and try to develop some positive relationships between each other and their teachers. This year Vicki and I gave them their introduction to Choice Theory by trying to have them play the "Triangle Game." In this activity they are supposed to pick out two other people that they would like to include in their equilateral triangle. They were not to tell the two people they picked, nor were they supposed to indicate to these two people in any way that they were a part of their triangle. It was a real bust. When done correctly the triangles wouldn't be obvious, and you wouldn't know if someone else had formed a triangle with you in it. We learned that 8th graders have lots of ways of communicating with each other....They almost all went to the sides of their friends and formed very small triangles so we ended up with a space filled with lots of mini triangles rather than a space filled lots of bodies with no apparent pattern.

The goal was to end up with a win-win situation in which all members of the team got what they wanted without trying to control the other people that formed it. Had they approached the game and played it correctly, they would have seen one of the goals of choice theory....win-win. However, they played the way we should have guessed students in school would play....they did whatever they had to to be correct. We told them to make equilateral triangles...they did. We told them not to indicate who they picked, that was more difficult initially (many simply pointed to their friends and they then moved to where they needed to be)...after reminding them that they couldn't indicate who they had picked, the body language and non verbal communication became more subtle and it wasn't until I watched really closely that I realized that they really were communicating. In school there is a really strong need to succeed or be right, they all wanted to be right and to get the game right which caused them to choose behaviors that involved trying to control others in order to get it right.

Next we had them fill out index cards with the following information in the four corners: corner 1: 3 people (one older, one younger, one peer) that are important to them. In the next corner they listed 3 things they would be doing, if they weren't in school. In the third corner, they listed 3 things they were good at and in the last they wrote 1 rule that they felt everyone should follow, 1 rule they thought was stupid, and a pet peeve.

Once they had that completed we asked them who, in the whole world, they thought they had control (in thought, action, emotion) over. Answers ranged from pets to younger siblings, but a really short discussion led them to say no one except for themselves. We continued the discussion by pointing out that when they talk out of turn it is irritating....but we as teachers can't make them stop. I know you're probably thinking a teacher worth his or her salt certainly should be able to make them stop, but with 26 years of teaching under my belt, I can assure you that they will quiet down for a time, but within 10 minutes, they are chatting again. They have to choose to stop talking...I cannot make them. We talked then about behavior and explained that all behavior is purposeful...that is it is designed to satisfy a need. If they were sitting quietly and listening, it was by choice. If they chose to not listen and were thinking Geez! when is this going to end...they did that by choice. Each and everyone of us tries to control the people around us, but we cannot. We can only control ourselves. We can coerce, manipulate, or try to intimidate someone into doing what we want, but ultimately it is their choice to do it or not. We always choose to do what is most satisfying to us at the time.

I mentioned that all behavior is our constant attempt to satisfy one or more of 5 basic needs. Those needs are 1: Love and belonging--the people the students listed on their index cards represent those people who they love and value as friends or family. 2: Fun--their answers here represent those things they like to do to have fun. Everyone wants to have fun and fun can include anything from learning, reading, or participating in sports. It is anything that you enjoy. 3: Power--this need comes in two forms on is power within which includes accomplishing a goal, succeeding at something, or teaching someone something that you know. Power over is trying to control those around you and is not constructive. 4: Freedom--this was the final corner of the index card. There are certain rules that must be followed however and our freedom must not come at the expense of someone else.

The goal for this year is to ensure that all of our students feel like they belong and are loved. We will foster positive relationships with all of our students. We will also make learning fun. This will involve getting them more involved in their own learning. Giving them the chance to pursue things they are interested in while still covering the curriculum. We want to make learning fun so that they enjoy their time at school. Next, we want to teach students to tap into their power within, so they meet with success in school. No one can do a new skill perfectly the first time they try it...students will have many opportunities to improve and develop their skills and feel that power within. We want to give students the chance to see that power over others doesn't really work. We also want them to have the chance to figure out what they need to have to be free and how to figure out the boundaries, so that they aren't interfering with someone elses needs.

This is getting really long, so let me close by saying this, we want to develop relationships with our students so that they really want to come to school to learn, not just hang out with their friends. This means that we all need to learn to compromise in order to have a win-win school year. We want to teach the students to take responsibility for their actions so that everyone is having their needs met, and most importantly learn to do competent quality work.